Learning never stops…
We are not created to understand the complete picture of our existence.
In these last weeks I haven’t been really present in the digital landscapes, only the minimum required for maintaining a business online. These past weeks have been wild in gaining perspective on deeper lessons and insights that I gained since my last dieta in the jungle.
The past 2 years have been an epic deep dive into the abyss of my own shadows and those in my close environment.
Spending a large amount of time in the position of holding space for others so the purge of the past could take place, while purging the remains of a complete embodiment created through my own past conditioning and culture that was part of my personal growth. It felt like looking to the left, to the right, up, down and inwards at the same time. Simply to become aware of how it is all related and interconnected. This creation, when witnessed up close, is so brilliant and harmoniously intertwined that it isn’t even clear when we observe it from our daily routine. Where it often just resembles pure chaos and it often is not clear why we go through the experiences that come in as life experiences.
Just simple insights can have so many different layers of depth that it freezes your awareness in full Awhé, once you see the depth for yourself instead of from the perspective of an intellectual theory.
Let me share with you a very recent insight that concluded a huge period full of lessons and changes that have been a foundation to the person that is writing these words today.
I’ve been told that it isn’t advised to share much of the details of what dietas you did and the information and lessons that have been given to you. But somewhere I feel that these brief insights might bring some beautiful insights to those who are reading this work.
Renaco, the tree that flipped life upside down only to create a path closer to my essence and helped me to decompose the foundation of a once old perspective on who I am, what I am and the visions and goals that I had for my life. This tree has broken everything, to show me that by opening up to unlimited possibilities, you can even experience way beyond the limited perception of your own fantasy.
(Source: https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/556dd07ee4b09d61196231a6/1435866910586-OO7OQ56M112M3XUB3PMA/Renaco+tree+in+dry-season+flooded+forest+area )
In the Amazon, this tree grows against other trees. They grow against the trunk of the chosen host that crossed their path. Over time Renaco slowly grew around the host until it sealed the host completely. After that they start to decompose the host that they used to climb, to take its place and form this magical forest. It is a part of the Ficus family and what you often see are aerial roots. One of the most beautiful things to me about seeing a Renaco tree is the aerial roots that come down from the canopy of this mysterious tree. Their roots are strong and you can climb them like Tarzan loves to swing his vines! The energy around this tree is intense and demands a sense of humbleness and respect. But also playfulness, when offered this respect they are very welcoming and happy to connect.
Well to give you an insight, what Renaco does to its host will be the exact same for the person that is opening a dieta with this powerful master tree. Over these past 2 years it completely decomposed my old self into so many different layers that at certain points I didn’t even know who I was anymore. Completely broken down to rise from those ashes once more. I not only see now but I also understand through experience why this work is far from a joke. The courage, the willingness on needs and offers one has to make to learn from these wise beings of the plant kingdom are way beyond anything most of us can imagine.
Today I’m deeply grateful for the beauty and the ugly, the joy and the pain, the sorrow and the relief of all that is a part of the cycle of once life experience. By experiencing this inner cycle of nature working itself through my energy body, cleansing and decomposing to create again afterwards I deeply experienced what it is to be a part of nature and how our own inner processes are not so different from what we see in the cycles of nature when observed very closely.
And even now again I’m limiting these insights and wisdom that I have received by putting them into words with the limited vocabulary we hold as human beings. Because this goes way beyond my capacity and ability to express such experiences. But at least I’m able to offer a glimpse into the more subtle layers of life and the possibilities that lay within reach for each individual that desires to walk this path of learning directly from plants.
My safety bubble under a dear friends branches
These past months living in the countryside in Spain allowed me to wander amongst countless olive trees in the fields surrounding our village. There is one specific tree, 45 minutes away from our house where I love to sit at night. Watching the stars and the moon, putting my feet in the earth next to its roots. Each time I walk back home after a few hours with this friend is like walking out of a wellness center. The calmness and peace that comes over me is indescribable for somebody that has never been to a wellness or a sauna after hard training or labor.
2 nights ago, I was sitting under his branches again, after finishing a community phone call where we have weekly meetings to share insights and concepts like these. I'm really grateful that Sabri Gazail crossed my path with this initiative. (I wrote more about Sabri in our last magazine also in an article about AI on my Substack, I’ll add a button to link to the article and the community page if you would like to connect to it for yourself)
But back to where I wanted to go with this story about that night. I haven’t been smoking Cannabis with THC for a long time now, and was recently given a tiny bag from a friend. So I decided to roll a nice joint, and got some Belgium beers from a recent visitor that came on holidays here to receive a very intense 3 days of Kambo initiations.
So there I was sitting under the full moon, like a spotlight amongst stars that lit up the fields under his white/blue mystic glow. Directing my intentions by blowing them into my joint and putting on an old recording from a ceremony with my very first teacher, Ronald Joe Wheelock. I sang along with Ron during the opening of the ceremony, while preparing my joint and sang into the joint. It’s all about focus, intention and connecting to the plants. To set up my space and go on a journey. With my allies from the realms of plants.
It has been a while since I sat with the recordings of Ron. But nonetheless I started to sing along with the recording like it was the ceremony from yesterday. The words were flowing out of my mouth like I had studied them. And off I went…
It’s hard to describe each detail of the tons of information and insights that are a part of such journeys. While singing I felt like reconnecting to Ron in spirit and having these telepathic conversations. Teaching that he gave me and insights about connecting to plants that he shared. After all those years not drinking together he is still teaching me. And he might not even be aware of this. I left his camp in 2018 so this goes a while back in time. But there is a conflict within that I’m still trying to understand. This comes from another lifetime and one of my guides that is very close to me and does all she can to protect me. In times of Avalon, my dragon was not so pleased with this connection between me and Ron. And this is something that has a very strong influence on the way things went in this lifetime and the beginning of my apprenticeship.
My dragon has lost her trust in Ron and is still not willing to accept him because of what he did back in this other lifetime. There comes a struggle and even intense conversations with her.
(Source: http://www.ayahuascaiquitos.com/es/images/a3.jpg )
If we are here to heal and to release the past, isn’t this supposed to be healed and cleansed? I know from experience that Ron is doing amazing work. Ok yes, it’s not for everybody, working with Ron. It’s you and the plants alone and lots of tough love, like a bootcamp for warriors. And still I’m listening to our ceremonies and taking off on a deep journey to keep on learning after all that happened. Where I expressed that during this night we would be better off by healing this connection instead of resisting whatever that was holding us back from releasing the past. Everybody deserves another chance to grow and to heal and exactly like Renaco taught me, is the importance of seeing the full spectrum from light to darkness and back around that it all has its necessity and reason to be a part of our experience as human beings. So my intention is to release this and clear it out. So that my dragon can see this for herself and that there is no need to hold grudge and anger against a soul that made some dark choices in another lifetime.
(Source: https://elpurguero.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/rw22-768x512.jpg )
Recording of Ron’s ceremony from that night
And so guides can be wonderful beings that help us through this life when you're able to open yourself up to them. They can bring a lot of insights and guidance. One of many insights was what I shared about Renaco above. But always remember that they also have a personality and a character. Which we can communicate with and converse with. It’s not about blindly following whatever they say. You can see it as you as an individual being the squad leader of a group that is here to navigate with you through this experience and offer help from other dimensions.
Before I knew it I was already there for more than 2 hours singing and going through the inner worlds and layers. Having many conversations with different parts and completely in oblivion when it came to the perception of time. I slowly came back when the ceremony was coming to an end.
I’m really blown away by the power of Cannabis when she is used in a sacred manner instead of a recreational companion. The deeper I go with plants the more this world opens up to me.
Often over these past years, I hit a plateau moment, multiple times, where I believed I understood how things work and thought that I was gaining clarity on the position that I was in. The illusion came up that I started to understand. Only to learn shortly after that it was just a moment of rest before diving into new levels of awareness as soon as I settled down in comfort. This process is never ending and I truly believe that we are not even created to perceive the understanding of the whole picture of our existence and the world we live in. The longer that I walk on this path the more I realize that it simply never ends and that we only experience from our perspective. And so it goes for each individual sentient being on this plant and even way beyond that.
Embracing the insights of being a student for life…
With love and gratitude,
Nick